THE Spurs will meet the Heat in this year;s NBA finals, a few stories coming out as we head to Game 1, Roy Hibbert made some anti gay comments before Game 7 Eastern Conference Finals vs the Heat, ironically in that game 7 the Heat made him pay for those comments by surrounding him with something homo phobic men can’t deal with– double teams. Jason Collins who earlier this season announced he was gay, stated he was interested in playing for the Spurs earlier this year. He changed his mind when he learned the team name was Spurs and not the Sperms. His interest in the Miami Heat waned when he learned the coaches real name was Spoelstra and not Sploogstra The NBa Hall of Fame put out an announcement that if the Heat win, they will ask Lebron to donate a headband, Wade his kneebrace and David Stern some of his celebratory DNA from the post game party. If the Spurs win, the Hall has requested a pair of Tony Parker sneakers, a Gregg Popovich clipboard, Tim Duncans’ razor stubble and a video of David Stern during his drunken post game rampage. Greg Popovich was offered a ton of money to become the spokesman for Proactiv, but turned it down when he found out he would have to legally change his name to Greg Pop a zit. When Proactiv dropped Popovich, a company with a new skin product made Greg an even better offer, that companies product is called Chicken Pock Scar Facial Goop and Epoxy. Pop is the last person in the league you want to high five, according to reports, when prompted to give me some skin, he often hands the requestor large dried up chunks of his face Lebron has requested that the media no longer refer to his squad as the Big Three., he prefers the trio to be referred to as “The Big One, along with two other schmoes.” Top ten excuses Lebron will use if his team loses. 10 They rested players earlier in the year, so we didn’t know who was good. 9 My ass hurts. 8 Jason Collins announcement threw me off. 7 I said “ not one not two not three…. So I was right- not two!! 6 My headband was cutting off circulation to my brain. 5 Birdmans tattoo ink ran in the shower so I got poisonous ink in one of my cuts. 4 Legendary NBA coaches, Pat Riley, Phil Jackson Red Auerbach,. my coach: Eric Spoelstra 3 Did I mention my ass hurts? 2 I was tired from the Olympics 1 I caught Greg Popovich fooling around with my mother.
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